A Real Reason.

The last few nights I've gone out with my friend Cord to get my mind off things. We've been friends for a long time and used to hangout all the time before I dated david. So of course, everybody is asking me what happened with the breakup. All of his friends, some that knew us, some that didn't. And honestly, if there was reason, a real reason, maybe it wouldn't be so hard. If he had cheated, or was an asshole or just something to give me hope that this is right. I feel like us still being in love but not being together is waisting time. He's called a couple times. I was in the shower once, the other I wasn't home. He wrote me on facebook, 

'hey you little shit
will you at least talk to me a little bit kinda miss ya bro'

I didn't reply. .....I know. I don't understand it either. I'm in love with him and want him back, but I guess I feel like its all or nothing and if I don't talk or see him, he'll want me back.